Many times when people feel they need to end their life, they feel as though they simply can't go on any longer with the pain inside of them. For a drug addict or even an alcoholic, in some ways it's the same. Instead of feeling the pain we want to escape from it. Drugs and alcohol then become coping mechanisms.
I've met quite a few people who have passed over on the other side who have committed suicide. I know their pain and often can relate to their personal struggles and even why they did it. It is so prevalent in society today. Our inner pain and loneliness, I believe, have reached epic proportions. Although not many people talk about it, I do believe there are many wounded souls walking through and going through the motions of life with severe pain in their hearts.
I'd like to share some of the reasons why the people who have committed suicide did so. In this way we can see the patterns that are so prevalent in society that lead us down these very painful roads.
Case A
I had gone to get my nails done. While I was there my nail tech told me about a friend of hers who committed suicide. I thought it was awful and wondered what might make someone do such a deed.
I was attending some meditation groups at the time and on my ride home I noticed someone with me. In the morning when I went to change my sons diaper, who was very little at the time, I felt the same presence. I said hello to him and found out he was this woman's friend. I was being cordial as I continued to change my sons diaper. He then said "That's something I would have never had" referring to my child. I was puzzled until he explained he wasn't able to have children. His family, matter of fact, was pressuring him into "doing something" to be able to have them and he was being ridiculed by his wife and his own parents for not being able to "perform".
The next time I saw my nail tech I explained that I saw her friend and what had transpired. I didn't know it at the time we first spoke, but he had left a suicide note. In it he explained why he was killing himself and it all had to do with the fact that he couldn't have children. He was made to feel inadequate by the actions and the words of others.
Case B
John Doe, he wants to call himself, killed himself because he was sick. He had discovered an illness he simply didn't want to cope with any longer. He never told his family and didn't want them to find out. He also never wanted his family to have to care for their "dad". Dads are supposed to be the strong ones. Dads are supposed to be there to support their children, not the other way around. So dad shot himself in the head and ended it all. The beliefs and expectations he had of himself did not allow him to be cared for by others and the role he had put himself in, and society, led to him taking his life.
Case C
He was a young man expected to step out into the world on his own, but no one had equipped him to do that. His parents were always too busy with their things, his father was abusive and many times he was left to fin for himself. Inside he felt scared and alone while on the outside he joked with everyone around him to cover up his loneliness and pain. He says "You don't know what it is really. When you are in that space you can't name it, you can't put a finger on it. All you know is that you just don't feel happy and when everything goes wrong in your life, you feel like it's your fault. No one tells us that we might need help, or didn't get the support that we needed."
This young man took his life because he felt inadequate and afraid of stepping into adulthood on his own. He was expected to do this without the tools and support he needed.
In all of these cases, and I'll go even as far as the drug and alcohol abuse and addictions, we have patterns at play. We can narrow them down to specifics and each case will be different, but what's most glaring to me is the fact that we do things to hurt ourselves and inflict pain because of the expectations of others or the expectations we have of our self. Sometimes we just want someone to listen, someone to care. When we don't get the support and love we need we lash out at ourselves..we simply don't deserve to live, simply no one cares anyway . . let's drink our problems away.
Well we all know we can't actually do that - drink our problems away. It only buries them deeper until we find out what's driving us to drink. Whether you find yourself in a place where you are contemplating suicide, another drink, drugs, or have problems with addiction I want to ask you to stop in the moment before you pick up that gun, that drink or that drug and ask yourself what is making you feel the way you do. Is it an expectation you put on yourself, someone else's expectation of you, or is it that you simply feel afraid and alone?
When we are in these dark places it's almost impossible for us to reach out to someone for help. So if you are reading this know that there are other people out there that feel just like you do. That if you are in this dark place you can get out. If you need someone to talk to go to the grocery store and strike up a conversation, call the suicide hotline, call a friend. Don't limit yourself to thinking you have no one, no support or no one that will "understand". The world is full of zillions of people...really . . zillions! Don't for one second fool yourself into thinking that no one in the world has been in your shoes. Take responsibility for your own care and get the support, the nurturing and the love and understanding you need. Who cares where it comes from and it doesn't matter if you think it will make you "look" weak. It's all a matter of perception any way.
We all have our seasons in life. Sometimes the ripeness of summer brings us delicious fruits, but many times there are cold and bitter winters that we must simply persevere through. If you find yourself in winter, persevere. For it's only a season away from the budding of a new life in spring if you're willing to go the extra mile.
I've posted a video of James DeBarge below who also at one time tried to commit suicide. Luckily he found someone who understood his pain - Michael Jackson.
I've met quite a few people who have passed over on the other side who have committed suicide. I know their pain and often can relate to their personal struggles and even why they did it. It is so prevalent in society today. Our inner pain and loneliness, I believe, have reached epic proportions. Although not many people talk about it, I do believe there are many wounded souls walking through and going through the motions of life with severe pain in their hearts.
I'd like to share some of the reasons why the people who have committed suicide did so. In this way we can see the patterns that are so prevalent in society that lead us down these very painful roads.
Case A
I had gone to get my nails done. While I was there my nail tech told me about a friend of hers who committed suicide. I thought it was awful and wondered what might make someone do such a deed.
I was attending some meditation groups at the time and on my ride home I noticed someone with me. In the morning when I went to change my sons diaper, who was very little at the time, I felt the same presence. I said hello to him and found out he was this woman's friend. I was being cordial as I continued to change my sons diaper. He then said "That's something I would have never had" referring to my child. I was puzzled until he explained he wasn't able to have children. His family, matter of fact, was pressuring him into "doing something" to be able to have them and he was being ridiculed by his wife and his own parents for not being able to "perform".
The next time I saw my nail tech I explained that I saw her friend and what had transpired. I didn't know it at the time we first spoke, but he had left a suicide note. In it he explained why he was killing himself and it all had to do with the fact that he couldn't have children. He was made to feel inadequate by the actions and the words of others.
Case B
John Doe, he wants to call himself, killed himself because he was sick. He had discovered an illness he simply didn't want to cope with any longer. He never told his family and didn't want them to find out. He also never wanted his family to have to care for their "dad". Dads are supposed to be the strong ones. Dads are supposed to be there to support their children, not the other way around. So dad shot himself in the head and ended it all. The beliefs and expectations he had of himself did not allow him to be cared for by others and the role he had put himself in, and society, led to him taking his life.
Case C
He was a young man expected to step out into the world on his own, but no one had equipped him to do that. His parents were always too busy with their things, his father was abusive and many times he was left to fin for himself. Inside he felt scared and alone while on the outside he joked with everyone around him to cover up his loneliness and pain. He says "You don't know what it is really. When you are in that space you can't name it, you can't put a finger on it. All you know is that you just don't feel happy and when everything goes wrong in your life, you feel like it's your fault. No one tells us that we might need help, or didn't get the support that we needed."
This young man took his life because he felt inadequate and afraid of stepping into adulthood on his own. He was expected to do this without the tools and support he needed.
In all of these cases, and I'll go even as far as the drug and alcohol abuse and addictions, we have patterns at play. We can narrow them down to specifics and each case will be different, but what's most glaring to me is the fact that we do things to hurt ourselves and inflict pain because of the expectations of others or the expectations we have of our self. Sometimes we just want someone to listen, someone to care. When we don't get the support and love we need we lash out at ourselves..we simply don't deserve to live, simply no one cares anyway . . let's drink our problems away.
Well we all know we can't actually do that - drink our problems away. It only buries them deeper until we find out what's driving us to drink. Whether you find yourself in a place where you are contemplating suicide, another drink, drugs, or have problems with addiction I want to ask you to stop in the moment before you pick up that gun, that drink or that drug and ask yourself what is making you feel the way you do. Is it an expectation you put on yourself, someone else's expectation of you, or is it that you simply feel afraid and alone?
When we are in these dark places it's almost impossible for us to reach out to someone for help. So if you are reading this know that there are other people out there that feel just like you do. That if you are in this dark place you can get out. If you need someone to talk to go to the grocery store and strike up a conversation, call the suicide hotline, call a friend. Don't limit yourself to thinking you have no one, no support or no one that will "understand". The world is full of zillions of people...really . . zillions! Don't for one second fool yourself into thinking that no one in the world has been in your shoes. Take responsibility for your own care and get the support, the nurturing and the love and understanding you need. Who cares where it comes from and it doesn't matter if you think it will make you "look" weak. It's all a matter of perception any way.
We all have our seasons in life. Sometimes the ripeness of summer brings us delicious fruits, but many times there are cold and bitter winters that we must simply persevere through. If you find yourself in winter, persevere. For it's only a season away from the budding of a new life in spring if you're willing to go the extra mile.
I've posted a video of James DeBarge below who also at one time tried to commit suicide. Luckily he found someone who understood his pain - Michael Jackson.
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