“It is not the critic who counts;
not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles,
or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly;
who errs, who comes short again and again,
because there is no effort without error and shortcoming;
but who does actually strive to do the deeds;
who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions;
who spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement,
and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”
- Teddy Roosevelt, 1910
Most of us go through life akin to the comments, values, and opinions of others. Our families, our friends, the people at work and those that make their voice heard sometimes even at our expense.
Are you the type of person who takes stock in what someone else says to you more than you do yourself? If the answer to the question is yes, you are not alone. Most people go through life afraid of what people might "think" so many times stories are fabricated if they feel they will be embarrassed or hidden if they will feel ashamed. It takes strength of conviction, and a strong sense of what you want to stand for and in to be authentic.
Authenticity doesn't come about because society dictates it. Authenticity means you have taken the time to look at yourself enough to know who you are and who you want to be. It doesn't mean I am a doctor, it means I am an honest person, I am trustworthy, I know my worth. It understands that I may want to be a doctor today, but it's ok that I might change my mind tomorrow. The underlying knowing is that I value what my own needs are and know my desires.
Too often we place value on outer sources to validate our own worth and our own feelings. We all want to be loved, we
all want to feel special, but to truly do that we have to learn to be ourselves because deep down when we try to "fake" it we do know subconsciously that we are and inevitably it never pans out.
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| One tree stands: alone in it's truth, strong and tall It knows where it's roots are and what it stands for. The others are bent - wavering to the changing opinions of those around them. |
Authenticity is rarely met with open arms from others. Some have already made their minds up that no matter what we do they're not going to like us or anything we do anyway. It seems to be something about us, most often, that reflects back to them an insecurity and a presence to remind them that they don't measure up. We will always have the judges sitting on the sidelines, voicing their strong opinions, tearing down others, gossiping behind our backs and fabricating stories. These are the people who can't own their truth, that hide behind a mask of deceit and are too afraid to live authentically. Should you decide to begin to live your life in the way you see fit, you will intimidate them, in essence, show them who they are not and that feels uncomfortable. That's when you'll see more lies, more back stabbing and sometimes even name calling. It's at this point in your life that the true colors come out and the once thought to be friends and even family members, show their daggers.
Maybe you've heard it said before that it's lonely at the top? But at the top of what? In the game of life the only lonely place you will be is trying to fit in with people who will never validate you to begin with. The greatest lie we give is the lie we give to ourselves, believing we are happy when we are not, going back to the same people like we go back to the same dry well for water - the nourishment we need just isn't there. Yet we keep trying to get it from the same people in the same way, like trying to get water out of a stone.
What do you have to lose then to embark on your own journey to nourish your own soul? Would it take so much to really get in touch with what makes you happy, be who you would like to be, and what you would like to stand for in your life?
Standing in our truth and in our authenticity is strong and unwavering. When you continue to stand in the wavering lies, and inconsistencies of others opinions, the tower that you have built upon will inevitably fall . For as long as the earth has been in existence so has the difference of opinions of others and the way they look at you and life. The need to self protect is strong, and most people will voice their opinions based on what's best for them, not you. They will offer their advice based on their experience, not yours. They will fabricate lies to make themselves look better, not validate your truth.
Opinions and others are crucial to our well being, but when we take them to heart they can be toxic. Take time to weed out what you decide will be your truth and what kind of life you want to live. Will it be to stand in your own truth or stand in the murky waters that those around you have created for you?
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