They say that we attract those people who most readily resonate with our emotional vibration to enter into relationship with. Even a soul mate, someone with you share an intense attraction to, has a vibration similar to yours. The two fields when meshed "feel" right.
Although most of us think of soul mates as the perfect relationship, most often soul mates, and other forms of soul partners come into our lives to reflect back to us what we ourselves are reflecting out to the world. Many times we are simply unaware of what we are projecting and inside we may be dying to be loved, all the while thinking to ourselves that no one cares, and no one will ever love us.
Just in this past week I've come upon a few suicide cases and a close encounter suicide. I've spoken with a few people on the other side who have gone through with it. Many are very surprised to find that the pain they thought would end is still lingering. Our emotional bodies go with us, and now instead of dealing with those bodies on the physical level, their task is even a heavier burden, they must now deal with the aftermath and the original problem itself.
I've decided to write this entry today because I've noticed a prevalent pattern among these suicides and even in the ones that have attempted suicide. I think maybe most people have had tremendous emotional pain in their life, when you reach the point of thinking about suicide, you simply see no other course of action for yourself and that's where we have to start, with ourselves.
Last night I had a conversation with my son about someone at his school. She had been going to a counselor because she attempted suicide, her family, she said, didn't even care. The counselor, when she told him about some episodes she was having, openly disbelieved her and she was left struggling with her issues alone. Our conversation's summation was the prevalent need for compassion in our society. It seems it is beginning to be a rare gift.
I also spent a few hours yesterday walking along a river front in the snow looking for another man that Michael had brought to me a few days ago. I went to my normal Wednesday class and Michael was sitting outside of the building. He said they had been waiting for me. When I went in I found that a young man had gone missing a few days prior. I had seen his face the night before and knew that he had passed. He was angry and didn't want anyone to find him. He was a loner and mentioned his father. I learned that he had suffered abuse and again began to feel the sting of repeated patterns playing out at the expense of our souls.
For me both of these people and the ones I had spoken to on the other side prior all had the same kind of issues. All of them mentioned parents, all of them felt they were not good enough, couldn't be enough, or felt their parents didn't care. This all important relationship, our parents, sets the stage for so many emotional tendencies. Yet if our parents were brought up without the emotional support they needed, how are we to expect them to give us the emotional support that we need?
It circles back around to us. For these young people and those struggling now, we simply have to admit to ourselves that we can't keep trying to go back to the same well when we get nothing from it. If you have not received the kind of support you have been looking for from your parents or anyone else in your life, stop trying. You never will. They are emotionally unavailable to you and it doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you, it just means you need to get support elsewhere and take some responsibility for healing yourself.
I know we all want our parents approval. We all want that pat on the back, that acceptance from our parents and the proud smile. If we don't get it from our parents, we seek it out in other people and in other relationships. If I do the right things he or she will love me. If I can prove to her or him I'm lovable I will be. Then most often we mess it up because we ourselves don't feel lovable. Simply put, we don't love ourselves.
So it all comes back to this: The man in the mirror. We must look within ourselves to find what we need. Look in the mirror openly and honestly. Accessing what we need and addressing those needs ourselves. If it's a new therapist make plans to get one, if it's time away to think, take it and if it's taking a walk or getting pampered at a spa to nurture yourself, I encourage you to do it.
Too often we look at other people to fulfill our emotional needs. The whole concept of "soul mate" the perfect partner is nonsense in that respect. Our soul mates resonate back to us lessons. How can we have a perfect partner if we don't know what the perfect partner looks like? If we don't know our needs ourselves, how can we expect someone else to fulfill them?
Feeling good about who we are starts with our own self reflection and encouragement. If you find yourself lost in thoughts that it's hopeless, that no one cares, or even that you'll never find the "perfect partner" remember to start with one person; You. Start caring about yourself enough to know you are worth it. That god himself made you out of love and the only thing, the only quest in your life worth embarking on is finding that love inside of you. That in and of itself will be something that you can give to yourself that no other so called "perfect partner" will ever be able to do for you.
Although most of us think of soul mates as the perfect relationship, most often soul mates, and other forms of soul partners come into our lives to reflect back to us what we ourselves are reflecting out to the world. Many times we are simply unaware of what we are projecting and inside we may be dying to be loved, all the while thinking to ourselves that no one cares, and no one will ever love us.
Just in this past week I've come upon a few suicide cases and a close encounter suicide. I've spoken with a few people on the other side who have gone through with it. Many are very surprised to find that the pain they thought would end is still lingering. Our emotional bodies go with us, and now instead of dealing with those bodies on the physical level, their task is even a heavier burden, they must now deal with the aftermath and the original problem itself.
I've decided to write this entry today because I've noticed a prevalent pattern among these suicides and even in the ones that have attempted suicide. I think maybe most people have had tremendous emotional pain in their life, when you reach the point of thinking about suicide, you simply see no other course of action for yourself and that's where we have to start, with ourselves.
Last night I had a conversation with my son about someone at his school. She had been going to a counselor because she attempted suicide, her family, she said, didn't even care. The counselor, when she told him about some episodes she was having, openly disbelieved her and she was left struggling with her issues alone. Our conversation's summation was the prevalent need for compassion in our society. It seems it is beginning to be a rare gift.
I also spent a few hours yesterday walking along a river front in the snow looking for another man that Michael had brought to me a few days ago. I went to my normal Wednesday class and Michael was sitting outside of the building. He said they had been waiting for me. When I went in I found that a young man had gone missing a few days prior. I had seen his face the night before and knew that he had passed. He was angry and didn't want anyone to find him. He was a loner and mentioned his father. I learned that he had suffered abuse and again began to feel the sting of repeated patterns playing out at the expense of our souls.
For me both of these people and the ones I had spoken to on the other side prior all had the same kind of issues. All of them mentioned parents, all of them felt they were not good enough, couldn't be enough, or felt their parents didn't care. This all important relationship, our parents, sets the stage for so many emotional tendencies. Yet if our parents were brought up without the emotional support they needed, how are we to expect them to give us the emotional support that we need?
It circles back around to us. For these young people and those struggling now, we simply have to admit to ourselves that we can't keep trying to go back to the same well when we get nothing from it. If you have not received the kind of support you have been looking for from your parents or anyone else in your life, stop trying. You never will. They are emotionally unavailable to you and it doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you, it just means you need to get support elsewhere and take some responsibility for healing yourself.
I know we all want our parents approval. We all want that pat on the back, that acceptance from our parents and the proud smile. If we don't get it from our parents, we seek it out in other people and in other relationships. If I do the right things he or she will love me. If I can prove to her or him I'm lovable I will be. Then most often we mess it up because we ourselves don't feel lovable. Simply put, we don't love ourselves.
So it all comes back to this: The man in the mirror. We must look within ourselves to find what we need. Look in the mirror openly and honestly. Accessing what we need and addressing those needs ourselves. If it's a new therapist make plans to get one, if it's time away to think, take it and if it's taking a walk or getting pampered at a spa to nurture yourself, I encourage you to do it.
Too often we look at other people to fulfill our emotional needs. The whole concept of "soul mate" the perfect partner is nonsense in that respect. Our soul mates resonate back to us lessons. How can we have a perfect partner if we don't know what the perfect partner looks like? If we don't know our needs ourselves, how can we expect someone else to fulfill them?
Feeling good about who we are starts with our own self reflection and encouragement. If you find yourself lost in thoughts that it's hopeless, that no one cares, or even that you'll never find the "perfect partner" remember to start with one person; You. Start caring about yourself enough to know you are worth it. That god himself made you out of love and the only thing, the only quest in your life worth embarking on is finding that love inside of you. That in and of itself will be something that you can give to yourself that no other so called "perfect partner" will ever be able to do for you.
6 comments:
I am a teacher and I see this happen time and time again. We are weighed down with the bureaucracy of "test, test, test! Data! Teach to the test! Document, document, document!" that issues like this, sadly, get pushed to the side and overlooked. The counselors, whose job it is to deal with these sorts of things, get stuck doing other stuff such as scheduling and other nonsense. Social workers are split between 5-7 different schools and are in the building one to two times a week AT BEST. So there's no one left to care. One can only imagine the types of things these kids have to deal with not only at school but more importantly at home. It is downright atrocious at times. Parents dont care, leave them at home, drugs are involved or they have no time to care because they have to work two and three jobs just to make ends meet. This society and this country, especially the education system, are just plain F***ED up. Pardon my French but there simply is no better way to describe the current system by which this country operates.
Thank you for your view and posting your comments. It's interesting coming from someone in your profession. What would you change about how things operate currently? I know that's an open ended question, but I would honestly be interested in your opinion. Thank you.
Its simple. Make the parents and students more accountable instead of placing all of the blame, work and accountability on the teachers. We can't control what goes on at home which thus affects how well they do on the almighty state standardized test. There is of course one billion more issues that need to and should be addressed but it comes down to this.
Thank you.
In times past teachers and parents used to work together to support the education of our children (not everywhere, I know, but it did happen). Over time it seems that many people who are entrusted with the care and nurturing of children have become too busy, stressed and frazzled to do more than survive day to day.
Many adults (including, but not limited to parents) who should be working together for the good of our children have become meaner towards – and less trusting of – one another and the casualties of this hard-heartedness are, time and again, our young people. Additionally there are so many unhealed, shell-shocked and walking wounded adults who hurt others, intentionally or otherwise, because they have not dealt with their pain. Trying to reverse this seems like an insurmountable task and I feel for the teacher who has posted above. It is not an easy task by any means and the frustration she/he expresses is understandable.
As long as we are here, however, we all have work to do and all have a part to play. If we (each one of us) can start to see that it is our job as much as the counselors', teachers', parents' etc to do something to impact the people who cross our path, we can begin to make a difference.
The 'something' does not have to be large, in the grand scheme of things. Each one, do what we can, when we can, for whomever we can as often as we can. It could be a smile and 'good morning' to a neighbour or a stranger, an encouraging word to someone who needs it, offering help to someone struggling...anything really, the options are endless.
I know (because I am speaking to myself as well here) that when we are overwhelmed, drained, tired and become resentful when it seems like all we do is give and see poor results, it is easier to shut down, switch off and focus on Number 1. After all, what is the point of painting the wall white yet again when overnight you know it will be covered in graffiti for all to see by morning?
We may not have the energy to repaint the whole wall. But could we do a corner? Could we buy a brush, or a new can of paint? Could we buy a coffee for those who do have the time and energy to paint? Could we go over and pat them on the back and thank them for caring?
Could we do something?
What has been placed in each of us is greater than we realize. The people who cross our path are there for a reason. To teach us something or to learn something from us. How amazing would it be if every person who came away from us came away saying "I learned kindness/compassion/love/generosity/patience etc, from (insert your name)."
To the teacher: I admire and thank you for the work you do in the most difficult times for our young. May God give you strength and joy in your work and may you know that your labour is not in vain.
X
Thank you so much for your amazing and heartfelt insight. I agree with you on every aspect. I do think we have made our priorities money and living instead of humans. That we have to change in the world consciousness; our governments and how things are run and how people survive day to day. I can never see the point of billions of dollars being spent on super bowls when just 1/2 of that could heal and feed a nation. It boggles the mind. But you are so correct when you say it starts with each of us. Many parents don't know any better. They do what their parents did or didn't do..sometimes better, sometimes worse. If we rely and shift responsibility to any "one" person or party, we run the risk of also quantifying the outcome of our future. The children of the "one" person doesn't stand a chance to be better or healthier than their predacessors and how do we know if there has been a healthy pattern of behavior instilled in the child who grows into an adult who now holds our future and our children's future in their hands? I do believe that's why there is gunning in schools. They are angry and hurt and no one seems to care. We must make the human being first above all things but society dictates to us a different priority system. It must start with us. And I do love your comment about the paint and graffiti; it is like that. It's not easy, but change never is easy. Of all things that I have learned from those that made great things happen the best has been constancy: You do it because you know it's the right thing to do (Nelson Mandela) Love anyway (Mother Theresa) Be the change (Gandhi) Heal the World (Michael Jackson) and Constancy (Saint Germain) If we are constant in our commitment to heal ourselves and those we touch we can and will make profound changes..they did :) xxoo thank you again for your wonderful comment!
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