This entry may be better written on the pages of a diary. For as far as I know, most people don't write about these kind of things with flames. Hopefully you will take something from it and learn. It is personal, but I do believe that is within the personal story that people most often learn the most.
The blog's title is Michael Jackson - A Twin Soul's Story. Even after he has passed the story continues. I had written a book at his request several months back. He's recently thought I should write another one on what has happened since his passing. "It could make you money", he said and I've come to realize something about Michael that I never had. This is personal, and not about the pop star. So if you are not reading for valid twin flame material and only about Michael Jackson the pop star, I highly suggest you stop here. Honestly.. and thank you.
As anyone who has ever been on the path to a flame, you know it's not an easy road. You question yourself, the other person and why the bond even exists. With Michael I did the same and when he lived I had always assumed I was the only one that had issues and karma to deal with. For some reason I thought he had worked through all of his. I didn't take the clues I was given. We make up stories, like we do in life with other people. The ego has a devout way of making sure we stay in our pain bodies. Enacting stories about who we are and who the people around us are, even what they are thinking and what is actually happening. When given the choice, we believe our story instead of the truth. There are times that we just aren't ready to awaken to it. One of those times has now passed, and I have awaken to a truth I should have known a long time ago.
When Michael and I spoke before he passed, it was often, sometimes deep, sometimes very casual. After he passed, however, we've begun to be able to get to know one another better on a personality level. I say it that way because even when he lived I used to say if we ever met we should try dating. For those that believe flames are magically in love, they are, but I knew even then that the personality or ego was different than the soul. There are some things that might not work between the two even though you might be the exact soul match. There are issues that need to be cleared.
Michael has been instrumental for me in my growth and sweeter to me than anyone has been to me in my life. Flames are often the source of our biggest spiritual growth. It stands in truth that this is also how it is after one passes. He continues to spur me on to new levels of growth, both spiritually and personally and we continue to mirror back both the good, the bad, and everything in between.
I have to laugh because when I was younger I liked to think of people who passed with wings. Heaven was the place they went and somehow even the mean people seemed to transform into great people after they died. In the eyes of the living, they somehow changed form. I can say today, that is so absolutely not true! Not only that, but flame or not, you continue. Not only do you continue, but you continue with all your "stuff" as well. Part of Michael's unfinished business was me and I have finally figured out why.
He's appeared at my doorstep behind a man leaving. He's warned me about several men I have dated and flicked my lights on and off so many times now I can't count. Elizabeth, his friend, has said we have earned the right to be together. I believed her and began working with him on a more consistent level, but I had issues. Part of me was blocked. I had an attitude. If you've ever read my book, Another Part of Me - An Extraordinary Tale of Twin Souls, you'll know that Michael and I never physically came together as a couple. I held him responsible for that after he passed. Every time I would ask a psychic reader why he wouldn't approach me even though we were face to face when he lived they would say he didn't have to. And, every time I would try to approach him, I would be told by my spirit guides very sternly to let him approach me. At the time, it seemed there was a "mystery" reason for the separation. Now I know much better.
We've talked many times about patterns on the blog. Both Michael and I have worked out many things personally, but the thing we did not work out was our patterns in personal relationships. I failed to see the patterns in his life and how they related to our bond as flames. I blamed him for something he was unable to do. Our personal relationships start with our relationship with our parents. For Michael that relationship was based on how he could make money for them. His whole life has been about what he could "do" for other people to get love. I am sorry to say, that it has not changed, even on the other side of the veil. Sorry because I didn't realize it, and sorry because he didn't either.
Michael and I not coming together was just as my psychic teacher had said many years ago - he didn't have to; we already talked. What I failed to see is that Michael was not capable of coming closer to a physical relationship. He simply didn't know how and I can't say for certain looking back that I did either. I never realized the impact of his upbringing on our reality. He did not have the means or the courage to bring real intimacy into his physical life. His whole life pattern based from his childhood was all aimed at achieving. Achieve a goal like profits, healing the world, greatness, marrying someone for children, or a better public image. Our personal relationship then was like a woman who enters into an affair knowingly with a married man. If we kept it purely on the spiritual level, there was no pressure and no threat of a commitment. For as lonely as he said he was and as much as he wanted to have a family, he still had something that kept him from it: himself. Our egos are so strong, they will engage in any activity to keep us in the normal, and more comfortable patterns that we have always engaged in. This is what was happening when he lived between us and is still happening now.
His comments about making money was the final clue. I didn't start the blog to make money or even write the book for money. I'd rather people really get something from it, to learn, to experience, even wonder and hope. Yet I realized his self worth was eerily similar to mine. He had to offer something in exchange for my affection or help. He simply currently knows no other way. When you are faced with everyone in your life expecting and taking from you, I guess you feel everyone is like that. It's sometimes hard to believe someone would just be there, just do for you because they can and for no other reason. His life and lessons, our life and lessons, don't change after we pass. His priorities are currently the same. He remains loyal still to his family and to his fans. He still composes music and still lives in another Neverland with children and animals. Our opinions are different, our views vastly apart. His loyalty had baffled me at one time. For when you look at someone else you see so clearly, yet I had placed my loyalty in those unworthy of it at one time as well and for the first time I see clearly the mirror that is placed before me and continue to hope that he does too.
The blog's title is Michael Jackson - A Twin Soul's Story. Even after he has passed the story continues. I had written a book at his request several months back. He's recently thought I should write another one on what has happened since his passing. "It could make you money", he said and I've come to realize something about Michael that I never had. This is personal, and not about the pop star. So if you are not reading for valid twin flame material and only about Michael Jackson the pop star, I highly suggest you stop here. Honestly.. and thank you.
As anyone who has ever been on the path to a flame, you know it's not an easy road. You question yourself, the other person and why the bond even exists. With Michael I did the same and when he lived I had always assumed I was the only one that had issues and karma to deal with. For some reason I thought he had worked through all of his. I didn't take the clues I was given. We make up stories, like we do in life with other people. The ego has a devout way of making sure we stay in our pain bodies. Enacting stories about who we are and who the people around us are, even what they are thinking and what is actually happening. When given the choice, we believe our story instead of the truth. There are times that we just aren't ready to awaken to it. One of those times has now passed, and I have awaken to a truth I should have known a long time ago.
When Michael and I spoke before he passed, it was often, sometimes deep, sometimes very casual. After he passed, however, we've begun to be able to get to know one another better on a personality level. I say it that way because even when he lived I used to say if we ever met we should try dating. For those that believe flames are magically in love, they are, but I knew even then that the personality or ego was different than the soul. There are some things that might not work between the two even though you might be the exact soul match. There are issues that need to be cleared.
Michael has been instrumental for me in my growth and sweeter to me than anyone has been to me in my life. Flames are often the source of our biggest spiritual growth. It stands in truth that this is also how it is after one passes. He continues to spur me on to new levels of growth, both spiritually and personally and we continue to mirror back both the good, the bad, and everything in between.
I have to laugh because when I was younger I liked to think of people who passed with wings. Heaven was the place they went and somehow even the mean people seemed to transform into great people after they died. In the eyes of the living, they somehow changed form. I can say today, that is so absolutely not true! Not only that, but flame or not, you continue. Not only do you continue, but you continue with all your "stuff" as well. Part of Michael's unfinished business was me and I have finally figured out why.
He's appeared at my doorstep behind a man leaving. He's warned me about several men I have dated and flicked my lights on and off so many times now I can't count. Elizabeth, his friend, has said we have earned the right to be together. I believed her and began working with him on a more consistent level, but I had issues. Part of me was blocked. I had an attitude. If you've ever read my book, Another Part of Me - An Extraordinary Tale of Twin Souls, you'll know that Michael and I never physically came together as a couple. I held him responsible for that after he passed. Every time I would ask a psychic reader why he wouldn't approach me even though we were face to face when he lived they would say he didn't have to. And, every time I would try to approach him, I would be told by my spirit guides very sternly to let him approach me. At the time, it seemed there was a "mystery" reason for the separation. Now I know much better.
We've talked many times about patterns on the blog. Both Michael and I have worked out many things personally, but the thing we did not work out was our patterns in personal relationships. I failed to see the patterns in his life and how they related to our bond as flames. I blamed him for something he was unable to do. Our personal relationships start with our relationship with our parents. For Michael that relationship was based on how he could make money for them. His whole life has been about what he could "do" for other people to get love. I am sorry to say, that it has not changed, even on the other side of the veil. Sorry because I didn't realize it, and sorry because he didn't either.
Michael and I not coming together was just as my psychic teacher had said many years ago - he didn't have to; we already talked. What I failed to see is that Michael was not capable of coming closer to a physical relationship. He simply didn't know how and I can't say for certain looking back that I did either. I never realized the impact of his upbringing on our reality. He did not have the means or the courage to bring real intimacy into his physical life. His whole life pattern based from his childhood was all aimed at achieving. Achieve a goal like profits, healing the world, greatness, marrying someone for children, or a better public image. Our personal relationship then was like a woman who enters into an affair knowingly with a married man. If we kept it purely on the spiritual level, there was no pressure and no threat of a commitment. For as lonely as he said he was and as much as he wanted to have a family, he still had something that kept him from it: himself. Our egos are so strong, they will engage in any activity to keep us in the normal, and more comfortable patterns that we have always engaged in. This is what was happening when he lived between us and is still happening now.
His comments about making money was the final clue. I didn't start the blog to make money or even write the book for money. I'd rather people really get something from it, to learn, to experience, even wonder and hope. Yet I realized his self worth was eerily similar to mine. He had to offer something in exchange for my affection or help. He simply currently knows no other way. When you are faced with everyone in your life expecting and taking from you, I guess you feel everyone is like that. It's sometimes hard to believe someone would just be there, just do for you because they can and for no other reason. His life and lessons, our life and lessons, don't change after we pass. His priorities are currently the same. He remains loyal still to his family and to his fans. He still composes music and still lives in another Neverland with children and animals. Our opinions are different, our views vastly apart. His loyalty had baffled me at one time. For when you look at someone else you see so clearly, yet I had placed my loyalty in those unworthy of it at one time as well and for the first time I see clearly the mirror that is placed before me and continue to hope that he does too.
2 comments:
Thank you for sharing your story. I appreciate your willingness to share despite what other people may believe or not believe. You continue to help me on my twin journey.
Agent M
Thanks so much for your kind words :) xxoo
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