The Road to Freedom - Your New Rule Book (Part of the Man in the Mirror Project)

Living the dream, obtaining your freedom, living in the light and producing loads of fun and delight
in your life all have one thing in common:  You.  You can look for love, look for a new job, find new things to do, but unless you change the hows and why's you do things you will never find true freedom within.

Loving ourselves is part of the plan.  For in loving ourselves we find the capacity to allow ourselves to love others.  If we are brave enough to look in the mirror at our flaws and still love ourselves regardless of them, then most often we can love another "flawed" person as well.

We have within us stuck in our mind repeating thoughts, sequences of action and notable attitudes towards certain situations, people and thought ideas.  When we toss all of this salad of ideas in the air we find we limit ourselves, our beliefs and our attitudes towards life.  One might wonder "now why would I limit myself?"  Yet, we do it every day.

Knowing yourself is the first step in achieving true freedom.  When Jesus came to the earth he proclaimed this very statement; "Know Yourself", yet we see few who have accomplished this task let alone those who have set out on it.  What are we afraid of?  Do we fear we will have to do something if we find something we don't like?  Or are we afraid of the truly powerful beings we are when we find we have been indeed limiting ourselves all along?

Sometimes there is little to do with us that has to do with some of our patterns and repetitions.  Sometimes our thoughts are the result of parental neglect or abandonment, abuse, mistreatment, and many times, hidden agendas among the masses and society.  How do we undo all that has been internalized by our minds and bodies?  We begin to weed out the garden, that's how.  We pull each

weed one by one, recognizing our thoughts, noticing where they have come from and then discarding them like the weed you put in the compost container.  Sooner or later you will discover a real garden full of sustenance and good things to feed upon.  This is the garden, the good thoughts and discoveries you must cultivate.  And, like any good garden, you must continue to pull the weeds.  When a thought of dismay, or a "here we go again" comes along, we must find within ourselves another expectation, another way of thinking and a new way of being.

We all come into problems in life, however, sometimes we are our most dastardly contributors to them.  Perhaps the abandonment you experienced as a child now plays out in your relationships.  You may be too frightened your partner, like your parents, will leave you so you leave them first, or simply make the situation so they will . . leave you just like your parents did.  That's how it works.  Little unwritten laws we are most often so very unaware of.  These are the laws we live our life by, yet we have absolutely no idea why.

Today I'd like to propose a new rule book.  One that entails your personal beliefs.  To get there I offer the following questions to ask yourself.  Ponder them deeply and then write a new belief for yourself.  Remember to read these again every morning for a few days.  We are in "ruts", meaning we will slide back into the same pattern again and again until we have gained enough momentum to get ourselves out permanently.  That's ok, we're human.  As long as you are continuing to recognize what is within and why it is there, we can continue to get better.

Affirmations are fine, but we must first find out why our original affirmations have gone a muck to begin with before we can try and replace them.  Simply saying an affirmation is like giving medicine, sometimes it works, but if you don't know where it came from from the beginning, it just might come back.

1. Am I holding myself responsible for someone elses actions or deeds?
2. Do I feel lonely because I'm afraid of what I might find in myself or because I am depending on someone else to make me happy?
3. What is it that I fear most and why?
4. Do I expect the world to treat me like my parents treated/treat me?
5. Am I creating situations in my life to inflict pain, hurt, suffering or failure because I feel this is what is expected from me as told or felt by my parent(s), aunt, uncle or another figure I looked up to?
6. Do I believe that all the love I need can be provided within from the universe or higher power or do I believe that the love I need should be provided by someone outside of myself?
7. Am I afraid to do something because someone else voiced that they believed that I could not?
8. Do I feel guilty for doing things in my life that bring me joy and if so, why?
9. Do I find myself looking in my mind for things that are wrong to think about?
10. Am I my authentic self or are there parts of me that I have created because of projections from other people or society?  Am I trying to fit in?

Out of these questions you can develop your "new rules".  For instance if my mother has always told me I'm fat and it's hereditary, I might bring my new rule in that says I'm free to be as thin as I wish to be.  Bringing the power back into your own hands and knowing where you gave it away is key in your well being.  Having thoughts thrown at you from your parents, siblings, or others is common place but we don't have to buy into their way of thinking about ourselves or anyone else.  Placing the power back into our hands gives us the ability to step out of the ruts created by society and ourselves and help us transform ourselves into the powerful beings we were put here to be.

** As a side note, you may wonder what this has to do with twin flames.  Twin flames are kept apart for many of the reasons listed above.  Some can not love because they have not been loved themselves, some are afraid, some have been abandon, and the list goes on and on.  Healing ourselves then, is the first step in healing our flames.  The flame relationship was formed from the pure fires of love - that's why they call them flames.  We must strive towards that degree of purity once again.  Eliminating the ruts and facing our fears.