Man in the Mirror Project - Letting Go of Past Hurts

Most often it's our thoughts about what a person should be, or what role we have placed that person in our lives that creates a hurt that we find difficult to let go.

A mother who is supposed to be .....

A friend who is supposed to be .....

A father who is supposed to . . 

A wife who is supposed to . . 

When they aren't what they are "supposed to be" we get hurt.  We ask ourselves questions like "Why aren't they there for me?", "Why would they lie to me?", etc.  Sometimes, as Michael says, people don't realize what they say and do hurts.

Usually in situations like this the offense that sticks with us is taken so personally it's cut us very deeply, leaving gaping wounds that are re-opened after every thought of the person or similar situation.  "I can't believe so and so did this or that to me".

What if we change the thought for a moment and instead of being angry at the person for not doing something, or doing something, we begin to think they were only doing that what they were capable of at the time?  Meaning, is it a possibility that the person you are so angry with was not capable of being the person you wished them to be?  

When we change our thoughts about the situation, we can change our emotions too.  Thereby beginning to let go of those things we have chosen to hold onto that don't serve us in a positive manner.  If we choose to hold onto anything, it should probably be for our good, and not something that makes us feel bad.  Forgiveness, after all, is most beneficial to us, not the other person.  You can never forget hurtful things that have happened to you, but you most certainly can forgive them.

Forgiving yourself may help you purge emotional toxins such as sadness and anger, opening the way to peace and joy.  Try the following exercise to help yourself feel forgiveness:

Sit in a quiet place.  Close your eyes and imagine that there is a circle of light around you.  Ask yourself a few questions:

Who have I not forgiven?
Wait for someone to pop into your mind.
Invite this person into your circle .
Visualize looking into their eyes and complete one or both of the following sentences:
Thank you for teaching me . . . .
I recognize that you have come into my life to teach me how to or not to . . .

When you've finished, say in your mind that you forgive them.  Repeat as many times as necessary "I forgive you. I release you.  I am at peace."
Say goodbye and with love watch them leave the circle.