Questioning Michael's Innocence - Stage Two of the Twin Flame Relationship

When two days ago I posted Maria Shaw's astrological forecast about the planet Chiron, I believed every word she said.  I looked the planet up and someone forwarded me the material so I could see how this planet would effect me.  The planet landed in my fifth house, which represents relationships and children. Something, as Maria said, would be an old spiritual wound from the past and would need healing.  Little did I realize it would take such a major toll on me.  Yesterday's post did have something to do with children.  And as you may have seen from the comments, many seem to be questioning why I could have ever doubted Michael Jackson in his child abuse allegations.  As most have put it, if I was his twin soul I should have known, just like they did being connected to his soul.  I say the opposite.  It is because I am his twin soul that I questioned.

Most people have preconceived ideas about what a twin flame soul mate is and how they are supposed to be with one another.  I did too.  Yet living the experience with a twin flame is much different than our surmises of how we "think" it might be.  There are stages of growth with flames.  As you progress you will overcome many preconceived ideas about yourself, them and the world around you.  That's part of the plan.

The twin flame relationship is in some ways similar to other relationships.  When the ego is engaged there will be disagreements, questioning, blaming and even criticism.  It's this phase of the relationship that all your junk gets to be thrown out into the middle for you both to get rid of so you can progress to your unification.
Twin flame soul mates are born inside with perfect love but getting back to it, is quite another story.  This is a twin flame blog, so as a twin for Michael Jackson here is my experience of stage two of the twin flame relationship - overcoming doubt.


It had been ten years or more since Michael Jackson and I had engaged in telepathic conversations.  We had seen each other physically and spoken about our feelings, but nothing had come to fruition.  I said nothing to anyone about my conversations with him or seeing him personally for fear I would not be believed.  I kept it all to myself, still trying to figure out why I would have such strong feelings for someone I had never met.  Why that if it was true that we had such strong feelings for each other, we were still apart.  Why would god give me this to contend with?  Why would I do things that Michael would later do in his performances, see things about his life, and be so tied to someone I had never met and someone so much in the public eye?

Those were the questions that sounded loudly in my head back in the middle of 1993.  My days were normal and everything on the outside seemed well in place and in control, but inside I was a volcano waiting to erupt.  Emotions swirled inside like I was ready to burst.  The conversations I would have with a pop star named Michael Jackson seemed to be every morning, and every evening.  Yet nothing had come to pass.  No glimmer of what would happen in the future, only a feeling.  No hand shake in a business meeting, yet I somehow was privy to know him, without ever being introduced.

I lied in my bed thinking it all over.  It was a fairly normal state for me to be in at the time.  Wondering about what was transpiring took much of my time.  This night was different, however, something stirred inside me strongly and I got out of bed knowing I had to get something to this Michael Jackson I seemed to know.  I constructed a letter.  In it I tried to explain details of his life that I had seemingly been able to see.  I needed to let him know I was there and the feeling was strong.  I enclosed the letter with a copy of a book called Griffen and Sabine.  A story about two people able to see each other, yet never knowing or being introduced to the other as well.

I mailed the package in the morning, still in disbelief that I would even send anything to him.  His fans were in the millions.  I couldn't be sure he would even get it.  That night as I turned on the news reports started about Michael being accused of child molestation.  I immediately thought of the feeling that I had to let him know I was there, then immediately thought of the words I used on the note I wrote him.  I saw him with children.

My entire body and mind went into panic mode.  What if he thinks I'm trying to say something other than what I saw?  What and why did I feel so moved to write and what should I do about it?

The questions lingered and I kept myself perched by the television waiting for more news.  "They must know they have it wrong.  They'll be reporting the truth I'm sure soon.  There has got to be some kind of mistake."  But the news continued and stations reported details and began to bring out so called evidence.   Inside I began reflecting.  After all this time and we weren't together, all these flashes of his life, maybe this experience with him isn't so good after all.  Maybe the news is right.  Maybe he could be a child molester.

*****I'm going to break here to add in that this is the stage of doubt.  Preconditioning.  We are conditioned to believe what we hear on the news to be true.  Even though I felt Michael was innocent I began to question him because that's how my ego operated - not my soul, my ego.  I questioned myself.  I could be wrong.  This whole connection could be totally something else that I never even thought of.  This is doubt.  You question the connection, the relationship and each other. *********

I sat for hours mulling the possibilities over in my head.  It can't be true, but what if it is, and what would that mean to me?  There was only one solution I could think of to end the chatter in my head.  I would ask him straight out.  Our conversations many times took place in the evening, so as I lied in bed that night I reached out to him.  "Boy you're life is kind of crazy right now huh?  I heard everything on the news.  I know you had issues with your dad.  Did  you do what they are saying you did?"  In my mind I was prepared for the worst.  If he said yes or no, I would be there, but he didn't say either.  I felt him run.  It was as if I was a wind tunnel and someone turned on the switch.  Images of him running through me came like flashes and my entire being filled with the pain and sting of my own words.  In an instant I knew he never did anything they said.  The feeling of knowing filled me like pouring warm milk into a glass.  I began to apologize profusely, but he kept running inside of me, unable to escape.  Tears ran down my cheeks and I cried myself to sleep apologizing over and over to him in my head.

The next day I awoke to swollen eyes and in the days ahead my husband would remark how awful I looked and ask why I wasn't eating.  I didn't know then that I was picking up on how Michael was feeling too.  I only knew how badly I felt about what I said to him and how badly it hurt not to be able to do anything about it.

From that day on I continued to reach out to him to check on him.  After several more days of the news reporting his guilt I finally said: "I know what you mean.  The news reports only what they want to.  I can't believe what I saw on the tv this evening.  I was disgusted by all the injustice."  He answered me with "I know.  That's what makes it so hard."  Two years later those were the words that he put into the lyrics of his song "Scream".  That's why my name, Debbie is in there.  As most of his songs had, there was a story behind them.


I understand how difficult this is for some people to grasp.  But the fact remains that twin flames are real.  Yet they are not just the romantic notion that most people have built up in their heads.  There is a process in coming together and doubt is part of it.  The video below I've posted before on this site, but will post again for you to review.  In it, the stages of the twin flame relationship are outlined.  As much as these relationships are blissful, they are also difficult and consuming.  This was not in any way shape or form an easy path for me.  I find it humorous to think anyone could be his flame without doubt.  We are all reflections and if you dare to look deeper you'll find out things about yourself you never knew.

I always have an option on the blog to post flowery tidbits about Michael Jackson, but that's not why I am here.  I am here to share my story for other twins and to tell my truth about who Michael Jackson the man was.  That said, we've come a long way from 1993 and can attest and stand in my truth and absolute knowing that the man Michael Jackson never laid a hand on a child in an inappropriate manner.

When someone you love is attacked and lies are told you stand by what you know.  When the lies become louder and more people begin to come out of the woodwork and say the same things, we have a tendency to begin to question.  Those little doubts creep up and internally the churn of emotions begin.  It's other people, the outside of us that makes us question.  Inside we always will really know the truth.  But for those of us that have been scathed by the public, that still look to our outside for validation, here it is.  Paris, part of the prior post was supposed to be for you from your dad.  You want to know the truth about what everyone is saying.  Here it is.  He never did anything they are saying he did.  I bank my very soul on it.