Michael's Death - The Framing of Conrad Murray

Four and a half years ago when I asked Michael Jackson how he died and he told me someone gave him a shot and everything went black, little did I think his death would be such a tangled web. As we go forward to honor his life, his work in his humanitarian efforts, and uncover the truth about his death, we also need to look at the others involved in this very crude game of chess.

Like the Harry Potter movie and "Wizards chess", you make one wrong move and you just might get your head cut off.  No pun intended, but that did happen to me . . at least a life time or two ago.  In Michael's world wizards chess seems to have been the norm.  It's taken a little while, but the pieces are falling into place.  The "shot" Michael was given has been in evidence with the Los Angeles County Coronors office for sometime.

There are certain things in a persons speech they say or don't say that sometimes lead us to the truth.  When Michael told me about the "shot", he didn't say his doctor, and his didn't say I took it.  I have seen Michael shoot himself with a needle before.  There is no question that if he did it himself he would have told me.  His words were specifically "Someone gave me a shot."  He then added "I didn't kill myself."

Originally when he said those words I thought immediately of drugs and that he wanted me to know he didn't overdose intentionally.  Yet when everything began to be brought to the forefront, the sad truth emerged and I realized he only said it because that is exactly how they were trying to paint his death.  The people responsible for Michael's death tried to hold Michael accountable for it.  If you have ever dealt with nasty people, I do believe this is the norm.  Do insanely horrible things to another person, then blame them for it.  They have no conscience.

The term they have used for Michael's death is "homicide" by an overdose of propofol.  However, last I checked and posted on the blog, I brought out the fact that it was far more likely to have a "cardiac arrest" as originally stated by the coronors office, due to lidocaine than it was from propofol.  The propofol simply didn't add up for me since most propofol is given intervenously.  Michael specifically said "someone gave me a shot".

Little did I know at the time that Conrad Murray's lawyer, Michael Flannigen, entered a request to the court at the time of trial for the evidence that I believe actually killed Michael.  His request for order to allow testing of evidence included a two part medical evidence summary done by the coronor on 7/15/09.  The evidence in question confirms not only what Michael told me about being given a shot, but also a lidocaine injection WITH propofol.

Medical Evidence #1 (collected by Coroner Investigator E Fleak on 6/26/09)

• Propofol and Lidocaine were detected in approximately 0.19 g of white fluid from a 10cc syringe barrel with plunger

This summary report was signed by Jaime Lintemoot, Senior Criminalist on 7/15/09

Due to the fact that the attorney for Conrad Murray asked for this to be included and tested in Conrad Murray's trial further incites the fact the Conrad Murray was not responsible for the injection.  Should fingerprints been tested, the evidence included in Conrad Murray's trial, he may have been cleared of the charge of manslaughter.

This in no way makes Conrad Murray squeaky clean, but the men who were pulling the strings around him certainly helped him look awfully dirty.

Below is a report regarding the syringe from TMZ  from March, 2011:

"Dr. Murray's lawyers were in court this AM.  Among other things, they lasered in on a broken syringe that had rolled under Michael's deathbed.  The defense wants a first generation fingerprint to determine who was handling it.

Defense sources tell us ... Dr. Murray insists he did not break the syringe.  As TMZ first reported ... the defense believes MJ caused his own death by giving himself a massive overdose of Propofol while Murray was out of the room.

Defense sources say ... there were only two people in the room, and since Murray did not break the syringe, Michael must have handled it. 

The defense is asking that the FBI deliver the first generation fingerprint."

Read more: http://www.tmz.com/2011/03/15/dr-conrad-murray-michael-jackson-manslaughter-case-trial-propofol-court-hearing-syringe-propofol/#ixzz2r8fAmsaa

Michael Jackson Murder: Catching up on the Conspiracy/Updated Notes

Since our last postings, there has been a few developments in the world relating to Michael Jackson's death. Ironically, or not, the news broke at the same time the judge dismissed Katherine Jackson's appeal to sue AEG live when the Michael Jackson Estate executors claimed victory in the suit against Lloyds of London, the company whom insured AEG Live in case of cancellation of the show series This is It.

That statement in and of itself should leave you to ask why the Michael Jackson Estate would be involved in a case that clearly was supposed to be between the concert promoter and the insurance company.  Why just two months prior to Michael's death, the same time AEG contracted Dr. Murray to "take care" of Michael, the application was filed.  Since Michael's death, matter of fact just a mere few days after his death, AEG filed to receive it's benefits.  Lloyds of London hesitated because of the cause of death and litigation began.

Unfortunately, or not, for AEG the emails that were brought up in Katherine Jackson's case with AEG Live surfaced.  It was at that point in time that AEG Live backed down from the suit with the insurance company.  For now here it was documented that they knew of Michael's health concerns prior and did not provide the information to the insurance company.  

Randy Phillips, the man in those emails, the man that abused Michael is no longer with the company.

Recently, it was announced that the Michael Jackson estate executors have settled for $17.5 million against Lloyd's of London.  Now how did that happen when AEG Live was supposedly the only one involved with getting the policy?  Well lets take a look at the wording on the counter suit filing from Lloyds of London:  

"GENERAL ALLEGATIONS 

A. THE POLICY 

7. UNDERWRITERS issued a CONTINGENCY NON-APPEARANCE AND 

CANCELLA TlON POLICY NO. B0638C091985 ("THE POLICY") to defendant AEG and 

"The Mark Jones Company LLC," effective April 24,2009 to January 19,2010, with a 

21 $17,500,000 limit of liability. UNDER WRITERS are informed and believe and thereon allege 

22 that "The Mark Jones Company LLC" is in fact dcfcndant Jackson LLC. A copy of THE 

23 POLICY is attached as Exhibit No. "A". 

24 8. THE POLICY provides coverage for "insured Performance(s) or Event(s)" with 

2S respect to "Mark Jones - the first 30 Concerts at the 02 Arena in London." UNDER WRITERS 

26 are informed and believe and thereon allege that "Mark Jones" is in fact decedent Michael 

27 Jackson, an Insured Person under THE POLICY"

As you can see the Michael Jackson Estate purposely filed under the same policy under a "cover" name "The Mark Jones Company LLC"  Delaware corporations, like "The Mark Jones Company", are often filed to conceal the identity of its members.  It is now apparent who stepped up for "The Mark Jones Company LLC" and also apparent that both AEG Live AND the Michael Jackson Estate Executors were and still are dirty dealers.  They set Michael Jackson up in more than one way.  Sony was going broke and Michael Jackson maintained most of it's rights.  The Estate now has control of it all.  

When Michael first died I hesitated to get details.  I still have a hard time believing people can be that evil towards another person.  Even knowing it boggles my mind.  It seems the kindest people are treated the worst.  The recurring theme from him to me was the catalog.  The Beatles catalog which he had acquired, as well as his own musical catalog, was worth a lot of money.  Should we do a time line on the events that transpired since his death, you would see that the insurance claim as well as copyrights for the filming of This is It,( that was supposedly never taking place) were in a matter of days.  Meetings for the production of the film between the Estate and AEG took place on the SUNDAY following Michael's THURSDAY death.  Apparently, according to testimony, John Branca was out of town when Michael passed.  It must have been very urgent for him to fly home and have a business meeting on a Sunday, don't you think?

Since not only has the film been released, with proceeds going to both companies (which I find odd because I had no idea AEG LIVE was involved in film), but many Beatles songs have been re-released with a brand new release of it's catalog coming soon.  

The Estate has claimed it has worked so hard getting Michael out of the red and makes no mention of Sony's dire straights before Michael's death. "Sony itself announced in December 2008 cuts of 16,000 workers after the global financial crisis hit demand for its electronics products, but it has not managed to make a profit since then."

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2127164/Sony-cut-10-000-jobs-worldwide-4-years-red.html#ixzz2r3K7l9c0
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The timing couldn't ring out louder.  It was in December, 2008 when Randy Phillips of AEG LIVE and John Branca, one of the estate executors and Sony board members, had their first conversations about how much money Michael could bring in.  Since then the estate has been very busy.  If you can't make money in one industry you diversify.  Which of course they have done at the expense of Michael's children:

1/11/2011 | 09:55pm US/Eastern

Recommend:

0

New York, London and Abu Dhabi -- An investor group comprised of Sony Corporation of America ("SCA"), in conjunction with the Estate of Michael Jackson; Mubadala Development Company PJSC; Jynwel Capital Limited; the Blackstone Group's GSO Capital Partners LP; and David Geffen (the "Group") announced today the execution of a definitive agreement, whereby the Group will acquire EMI Music Publishing from a wholly-owned subsidiary of Citigroup, Inc. ("Citi") for total consideration of $2.2 billion.

http://www.4-traders.com/SONY-CORPORATION-6492482/news/Sony-Corporation--INVESTOR-GROUP-INCLUDING-SONY-CORPORATION-OF-AMERICA-ENTERS-INTO-DEFINITIVE-AGREE-13888382/

Can you say "self dealing?"

** Just to add a few other notes here:  It was also noted on the complaint from Lloyds that Tohme Tohme, Michael's manager was named as an additional insured, however, the manager that was told to us that came back Frank DiLeo was not.  A year or so ago Michael had me write a post about his manager at the time.  I don't or have never followed who is manager(s) are or were.  He made it clear Tohme was his only manager at the time.  Since I have received visions of Frank in Michael's bedroom giving him medication.  If Frank DiLeo was his manager at the time rightfully, why wasn't he named on the policy as well?  Frank DiLeo was FIRED by Michael Jackson as his manager years prior to the This is It concert series.

Also noted is the timing of the meeting between John Branca (Michael Jackson Estate) and AEG.  The Sunday meeting took place BEFORE the will was even filed with the courts.  How did they know they were to be executors?  Michael Jackson FIRED John Branca during the years that the will was put into place.

Martin Luther King - A Look at the People who Make CHANGE

"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal'."

There is an old spiritual saying that we will all live as each race and gender before graduating from the earth school.  I suppose if people back in the day realized that, maybe they would have taken racial segregation more seriously.

No race, color or gender should have to endure struggle to gain the simple human rights every person should have.  Today celebrates the anniversary of a man that took it upon himself to stand up for those rights. Martin Luther King Jr was one of the many who chose to stand up to injustice and fight for what was right, not for what was popular during that time.

If we look back in our history, we'll find many of the people that did make change were those under oppression.  Many of these same people, made change peacefully and with dignity.  There is something they realized, something we should all realize when it comes to the human race.  Our goal should not ever be to intimidate, or control another, rather act with dignity and kindness.  The old saying from Jesus to treat one another they way you would like to be treated.  Yet somehow even among a man and a woman, a father or a mother, there seems to be a struggle for control.  A dominating ego that needs to be fed and it is in these areas of our life that we all must succumb to the true knowing that the responsibility and fault lie with those who seek to render another submissive.  To make another small, instead of trying to be tall themselves.

Who are these people then that make true change?  I believe they come from a place of hurt.  Michael Jackson, Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela all endured hurt and struggle at the hands of others.  People who hurt, who are ostracized, who are criticized, who are abused, know how it feels.  They are sensitive to the treatment of others because they themselves know how much it hurts.  These are the sensitives that make change for the rest of us.  Those that instead of choosing to be the victim, stand up knowing what is right for all people, not just for themselves.  They include the welfare of others, instead of trying to condemn them.  These people we have tortured turn around and heal us.

Many people in the spiritual communities have had the same experiences.  Many have sought self help because of what they have gone through.  May we all choose to see that there is nothing "wrong" with us then.  That the people who have thrown the stones don't take responsibility for themselves.  They look to others to put down, manipulate and intimidate to feel powerful.  When we can take responsibility for our actions and thoughts, we can rise above the situation just as Martin Luther King did.  He didn't waddle in the belief that he was less then because he was told he was.  He rose above it in his knowingness that he and the people like him were so much more.

When faced with opposition in my life, even writing this blog, I have often gone back to some very wise words from Martin Luther King himself.  He said "On some positions cowardice asks the question "is it safe?".  Expediency asks the question "Is it political?" And vanity comes along and asks the question "Is it popular?" But conscience asks the question "Is it right?" And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor political, nor popular, but he must do it because Conscience tells him it is right."

If you ever find yourself being oppressed in any way, even thinking about yourself the way someone else wants you to think about yourself, remember and repeat these basic fundamentals:

"You is kind,
You is smart,
You is important"

Sometimes those all important words don't come from who we need them to come from.  But they can come from someone; you.

Man in the Mirror PROJECT: When Parents Abandon their Children

"The parent who is estranged from a child due to his/her own bad treatment of the child has a "wait and see" attitude.  They don't pursue a relationship with the child because in their mind the child is the one responsible for mending the relationship."

It's been a common problem among adult children.  Parents who simply abandon their adult children or worse yet those that abandon them when they are still young.  As children of any age we all need to feel loved and nurtured.  Parents represent to us that first form of love and when it is taken away or never given at all, no matter what your age, you hurt.

I've spoken to many adult children who have been "outed" by their parents.  Some who have been abandon, tried to reconnect, then given the "silent" treatment again simply because they don't "agree" with their parent.  Most have been engaged in emotional abuse that has been going on in the family for years and grasp for reasons why its happening. What is it that they have done?  How could they have done things differently and why can't they have a "normal" relationship like the families that we see on TV and the Christmas cards sitting around the table, all having that great "family" dinner.

Unfortunately in our current world the family on the television just isn't our reality.  Most families may "look" and act on the outside as if they are loving and caring, but once given a look at the inner workings, we find something much different.

Like sibling rivalry, jealousy, is a common pattern in narcissistic families.  Constant comparisons to others.  Your mother, your aunt, your father, your sisters; all comparing themselves to you.  Envy rears its ugly head in many other contexts as well.  "How does our family measure up to others and do we "look" good enough to the outside world?"  Children learn to do this and become adults who are always worried about comparisons.  If this is you and you were raised by narcissistic parents, learning how to cope is a must and part of your own recovery.  Confronting the narcissist does no good.  You have to release yourself from your confusion and see the envy for what it is.  To do this you must recognize your own goodness and strength.  Don't be spiteful or revengeful as that destroys you.  The envy that is thrown your way does not belong to you.  It is a part of the parent's disorder.  "Envy comes from people's ignorance of, or lack of belief in their own gifts." (Jean Vanier) You don't have to take it on.

In these cases the child is left with little support for who she or he is as a whole person.  They feel unloved.  Envy is like an anger that destroys you.  It is terrifying for a child at any age.

Parents who have abandon their children will find it hard or impossible to view the situation from their child's perspective.  They don't see their own behavior as playing a role in the problem; they feel entitled to behave badly with no repercussions.

Either way, abandonment at a young or old age, leaves us feeling broken.  We must realize that the cause of the hurt is the dysfunction that has gone before us.  We can't blame the parent, for what dysfunction went on before them with their own parents?  We can only take what we have been given and acknowledge that our parental support system is lacking.  We are at a loss in the teachings of what real love and relationships are about because of it.  It is in knowing and accepting this all important fact, that we can begin to heal.

Our recovery process includes a new frame of mind.  One that allows us to individuate so that we are no longer defined by anyone but ourselves. We must use self-compassion, self-understanding, and take the time to nurture ourselves, replacing the love that we have been longing for with our own inner strength.  

There is an abundance of love in the universe.  We have been made of it.  If you have been abandon, at any age and feel the sting of being unwanted by family, friends, or others, there is always a place of strength you can go to.  You must first realize that you are most often not the one that is broken.  It is others in their treatment of you that clearly outlines the dysfunction.  Be grateful for being free from the cycle of their abusive hands and begin to form a new relationship with your self and others.  Take time to reflect, to breathe, and to feel that there is more love in healthy forms available to you.  Connect with nature, with children and with animals - all forms of the unconditional love we all want and seek.  Then when it is our turn to give the love and nurturing to our own children, we can make active, healthy choices in their development as well.

Working toward recovery from any issue is worth the time and energy. Creating your own exciting and significant life is gratifying and the more you tune into who you truly are, the better it feels.  I've posted a reprint of an article on emotional abuse below.  Many of us grasp at straws thinking the problem is us, not realizing what the abuse is.  Emotional abuse leaves no bruises, only ones inside.  Sometimes those kind can be the worst:

Signs of Emotional Abuse

By MARIA BOGDANOS 

Emotional abuse is elusive. Unlike physical abuse, the people doing it and receiving it may not even know it’s happening.

It can be more harmful than physical abuse because it can undermine what we think about ourselves. It can cripple all we are meant to be as we allow something untrue to define us. Emotional abuse can happen between parent and child, husband and wife, among relatives and between friends.

The abuser projects their words, attitudes or actions onto an unsuspecting victim usually because they themselves have not dealt with childhood wounds that are now causing them to harm others.

In the following areas, ask these questions to see if you are abusing or being abused:

1. Humiliation, degradation, discounting, negating. judging, criticizing:
   • Does anyone make fun of you or put you down in front of others?
   • Do they tease you, use sarcasm as a way to put you down or degrade you?
   • When you complain do they say that “it was just a joke” and that you are too sensitive?
   • Do they tell you that your opinion or feelings are “wrong?”
   • Does anyone regularly ridicule, dismiss, disregard your opinions, thoughts, suggestions, and feelings?
2. Domination, control, and shame:
   • Do you feel that the person treats you like a child?
   • Do they constantly correct or chastise you because your behavior is “inappropriate?”
   • Do you feel you must “get permission” before going somewhere or before making even small decisions?
   • Do they control your spending?
   • Do they treat you as though you are inferior to them?
   • Do they make you feel as though they are always right?
   • Do they remind you of your shortcomings?
   • Do they belittle your accomplishments, your aspirations, your plans or even who you are?
   • Do they give disapproving, dismissive, contemptuous, or condescending looks, comments, and behavior?
3. Accusing and blaming, trivial and unreasonable demands or expectations, denies own shortcomings:
   • Do they accuse you of something contrived in their own minds when you know it isn’t true?
   • Are they unable to laugh at themselves?
   • Are they extremely sensitive when it comes to others making fun of them or making any kind of comment that seems to show a lack of respect?
   • Do they have trouble apologizing?
   • Do they make excuses for their behavior or tend to blame others or circumstances for their mistakes?
   • Do they call you names or label you?
   • Do they blame you for their problems or unhappiness?
   • Do they continually have “boundary violations” and disrespect your valid requests?
4. Emotional distancing and the “silent treatment,” isolation, emotional abandonment or neglect:
   • Do they use pouting, withdrawal or withholding attention or affection?
   • Do they not want to meet the basic needs or use neglect or abandonment as punishment?
   • Do they play the victim to deflect blame onto you instead of taking responsibility for their actions and attitudes?
   • Do they not notice or care how you feel?
   • Do they not show empathy or ask questions to gather information?
5. Codependence and enmeshment:
   • Does anyone treat you not as a separate person but instead as an extension of themselves?
   • Do they not protect your personal boundaries and share information that you have not approved?
   • Do they disrespect your requests and do what they think is best for you?
   • Do they require continual contact and haven’t developed a healthy support network among their own peers?

source(s):  
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/02/20/signs-of-emotional-abuse/

Psychology Today

Mothers Who are Jealous of their Daughters

The Legacy of Distorted Love

The Difference Between Estrangement and Parental Alienation 

Syndrome by Cathy Meyer

Astrology News with Maria Shaw

Astro News

By Maria Shaw Lawson

I am reminding everyone to finish up your tasks and projects now as we have a mercury retrograde coming February 7 to the 27th. There is one good thing I want to share with you that I know about Mercury retrogrades. If you lose something you can usually find it on a retrograde! Things you thought were gone for good could resurface during this period!

Right now and until the 31st of January, the planet Venus, is retrograde so many of you have seen the return of an old love and others are looking for ending relationships and partnerships. All of us are reviewing our relationships and obligations in some way or another. Many of us are also looking at our jobs and how we make money. You could be asking "Am I getting enough for the energy I am putting out?" and "Should I look at doing something different?"

This is also a good time to review your credit and bank balances as well as your savings plan and investment portfolios.

The full moon tonight in Cancer has a strong emotional energy to it. It brings some of you to tears and others will feel a sentimental pull. It also causes many of you to think seriously about your home, family and real estate concerns. I bet a few of you will make an offer on a house or decid e you are ready to make a move.

This full moon relates back to the eclipse we had in October of 2013. So whatever issue you were dealing with last fall may come to resolution or at least closure now.

I'm also going to let you know that there a few challenging times coming up yet this winter. March 1 & 2 are harsh days so please don't plan anything big for those two days. It would be better to take a vacation then if you can afford the time to do so.

Shortly after that Jupiter moves forward in Cancer so things will start moving once again in our lives. If you have been feeling stagnant or waiting for something to break, things will but after these retrogrades are over! So plot and plan your direction and expect things to unfold and develop when you get some wind beneath your wings in March!

Finally a last word on the weather for now....I predicted the bad storms in December and January and now I'm feeling the first part of February we will have another deep freeze. Cold harsh weather returns to the east coast and part of the Midwest around the 1st so take your precautions again!

For more information and insight visit Maria at www.MariaShaw.com

Twin Souls,"Split Apart" - Confirmation from the Zohar; Ida and Pingala

Like the story of Adam and Eve that I present in the online book tour, there is another story present in a book called the "Zohar", a book of Jewish mysticism.

The Zohar teaches that your soul has a twin who was created with you in the beginning. God will bring the two of you together, it says, if you live a life of purity and good works.

All the souls in the world, which are the fruit of the handiwork of the Almighty, are mystically one, but when they descend to this world they are separated into male and female, though these are still conjoined.

It specifically says that 

"When they first issue forth, they issue as male and female together. Subsequently, when they descend [to this world] they separate, one to one side and the other to the other, and God afterwards unites them—God and no other, He alone knowing the mate proper to each. Happy the man who is upright in his works [or pure] and walks in the way of truth, so that his soul may find its original mate, for then he becomes indeed per­fect and through his perfection the whole world is blessed."

Confirmation of the existence of twin souls helps us to remember that we are divine beings.  That the knowledge of our true existence, the truth, has been with us all along.  We have only been "told" differently.

Further exploration into this mysticism includes some images from a ancient method of divination called "Tarot Cards".  Many times psychics would and still do use these cards to read the future of an individual.  Two cards in particular may stand out as posted below.

The first card (labeled number I) depicts a man holding a scroll upward with his left hand pointing downward. Above his head is the symbol of infinity. Could it be that he has received a gift from heaven and is delivering it to the earth as he extends and points his finger down to it?

The question becomes more affirmative when we look at the second card (labeled number II) called the High Priestess. For on her lap sits a scroll unrolled and labeled the "Torah" - another book of Jewish mysticism. It is said in the mystic tradition that the man twin will contain the knowledge of wisdom within him but it is the female twin that has the ability to unlock it as seen and depicted by the open scroll.

Lets take this a bit further because the High Priestess also sits between two pillars.  These pillars may represent the temple of King Solomon.  Remember the King who the Star of David is named for? The star representing the union of the divine female and male?  Pictured below is that temple.  It is flanked by two pillars.  The pillars also remind us of the number 11 which is the opening of the door of knowledge.  For the High Priestess, her pillars are black and white.  Our dualistic nature.

Depiction of King Solomon's Temple

A further look can also cross another border of religion and belief, for placed above the priestess head and at her feet you see the image of the moon.  The moon representing female energy is also present in yogic traditions.  Labeled the "ida" channel running on the side of your body, there is also a corresponding "male" channel called "pingala".  Both channels when in harmony access our central channel "sashuma".  When all are in balance we can be "enlightened".  

I liken the concept to what is on a small concept is also on a larger scale.  When we are balanced through ida and pingala and access our higher selves we can once again balance with our male or female counterpart that we were created from.  For even the card of the male magician is yellow as the sun.

Here is what "The Butcher's Wife" movie says about our "split aparts".  The male character even mentions the way that he knows about split aparts - magic!

Twin Flames: Union of the Soul

As the shift in consciousness is progressing, more and more people are becoming aware of and uniting with their twins.  Part of the field of consciousness in our world directly related to the shift has to do with the union of flames themselves.  The union of the flames generates a third field of energy.  That energy is shared in the mass consciousness of the entire planet.

You may know who your flame is, your flame may be on the other side, or you may be still wondering if you have a twin flame.  One thing is sure, that somewhere there is another part of you that will make you feel "whole".  In the psychic reading that I posted on the sidebar, the reader mentions more than the murder of Michael Jackson.  She mentions a place in my life when I will suddenly realize I feel "whole".  The feeling, she said, will be "different".

Many times when my flame was alive we would do what I liked to call "merging".  For lack of a better word, and because I never understood it completely at that time, the mere thought of one another brought us into conscious contact.  Sometimes in those moments I would ask like a friend calling on the phone what he was doing, sometimes we were in a place that was more intimate.  A relaxed place, like before sleep, or when you just wake up in the morning, when we were able to just "be" together.

There is a song that comes to mind called "I Just Can't Stop Loving You" from back in the day.  In the beginning the lyrics are "I just want to lay next to you for a while".  These words were the words usually spoken before our "merging" would take place.  It's like wanting to feel that other part of yourself so much that you would just be content with having them next to you.  So merging starts like that.  Your desire to bring them closer to you.  A relaxed state of mind, which would mean shallow breathing; a desire emotionally to bring your flame by your side and a picture of them or conscious connection allows merging to begin.

To me, merging when my flame had a body and we were not in physical proximity of one another, felt like this:  Another body, although not physical, more etheric, that was half inside of me as well.  It was like magnets coming together, but only 1/2 of the magnet touched.  In those days it was pure bliss.  For I had never felt anything like that before with anyone or anything.  Sex, drugs or rock and roll could never replace the "magical" feeling of just being.

Since my flames death, merging is different.  I can no longer feel the separation of another body merging with mine.  It has happened slowly, but the union has been increasingly subtle.  I can no longer feel another body merging with mine.  Sometimes I am awakened in the night and hear his voice coming from my own soular plexus.  The first time this happened I thought of the scene from alien, when the baby emerges from her stomach.  Yea, it kind of freaked me out.  Can you imagine someone else's voice coming from inside the pit of your stomach?

Even though I love my flame very much, there are many times what has transpired has left me amazed, confused and astonished.   When you are not "taught" you have a flame and what might happen, you're on your own.  So I'm giving you a heads up.  The merging is gradual and there will be a time when the merging is so full that you too may hear the voice of your flame literally inside of you.  You will come to a point in your life when another physical being can never make you feel whole, because inside you know you are already whole.  Sometimes maybe you won't know at first.  You may think why don't I feel like I need a man or a woman to make me whole?  It may be your flame that is the answer.  They can be with you in spirit or on the same plane of existence, but one thing is for sure, they are always with you inside.

* This post was written by request