Update on Prince and a Story from a Reader

Have you ever noticed that sometimes you can have the most horrid kinds of days, but when you see your children and their smile, everything goes away and you too smile for their happiness?  It's like coming home and seeing your dogs. Happy to see you, no matter what happens.

Today was one of those kind of days; I was a bit down, until I read the news.  That young man that I was so happy about on the day he was born 17 years ago, has with stood the pressure of many people and is going to go to college!  I can't tell you how excited and proud I am.  I don't even think I can put it into words, but when I read this article the worries I had in the past weeks were lifted. Prince Jackson has not gone down the road his uncle Jermaine wants him to.  He is going to college for business and film and this "cyber mom" couldn't be happier: http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2014/11/prince-jackson-future-college/

Prince Jackson you're a star in your own right!  Keep your head up and your feet on the ground.  When you follow your own heart, everything is bound to fall right in place.  I would write something from your dad, but he says you already know he's proud of you.  He always wanted you to go to college :) You are strong, brilliant and know what's right.  Keep going Prince, your future only holds great possibilities and the sky is the limit.  What more can I say, but WOO HOO!!! :) xxoo

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On another note, I was given permission to share one my blog reader's stories.  It hit me hard this week, and my heart went out to her.  As we approach the holidays, Thanksgiving here in the states and Christmas all around the world, many of us turn to our families.  But some of us don't have the luxury of having a loving, supportive family.  Some families hurt us more than anyone ever could.  This is such a story.  I wanted to share it because as I told my reader, I feel many people share the same kind of pain.  It's deep and gut wrenching and it lives with us for years.  This kind of pain can debilitate you.  It can stop you in your tracks, make you feel worthless and produce strong and powerful feelings of anger, betrayal and loss within us.

Here is Lee's story.  I invite my readers to share their comments for Lee in the comments section.  If we all share our stories, maybe we can all help one another lessen the pain and loneliness of being cast aside by a parental figure.

Hello Debbie! Its ok...being able to talk to you makes me feel better already! I will try and send it through to you here.

Nov 24

Lee wrote:  Yesterday, I thought would be the day that I finally met my biological father.

After 39 years I truly believed that one of my biggest wishes would come true.  I was ready…I was excited…It did not really matter what I would say to him, I just wanted to be in his presence. Nothing else mattered.  I was going to have that moment finally.

It wasn’t a pleasant circumstance or gathering at which we would have met.   If I just knew what my biological father looked like….does he have grey hair, does he wear spectacles, is he short or tall,

what is his style of walking? It could have saved me a lot of wasted time, 39 years...

Even myself, who hates funerals, but who has been blessed in attending EVERY known nuclear family members’ funeral so far,  knows that people need you at this time and after.  He did not pitch up and I will tell you why.

Along with me…patiently, expectantly, excitedly waiting to see their father were three other beautiful ladies with tainted souls.   Yes, all of us; expectantly, excitedly not so much patiently anymore waiting for him.   But, what was all too clear is that; he WAS expectedly anticipating our arrival.  I later learned that two of his other biological  children attended the service. 

I went up to them cordially, and introduced myself. They excused his absence by saying that,

they had made the decision not to come’…to which I replied, ‘Yes, I am SURE that they did’.

At the beginning of 2014 when I tried to make contact with him, he responded that, I was part of his past and that I should be forgotten.

I CANNOT, BE PART OF HIS PAST WHEN I WAS NEVER PART OF HIS PRESENT AND WILL NEVER BE PART OF HIS FUTURE.

I am not a big fan of airing one’s personal laundry on social media platforms, but I want to claim something for myself today,  after I have lost and been robbed of everything else. I want to let this go…end this unrealistic dream of him and me.

I want to say that:   I am beginning to think that I am so much better than him, because -

I DO NOT RUN AWAY FROM MY STRUGGLE, AM TERRIFIED TO FACE MY DEMONS, BUT STILL CONTINUE TO DO SO… AND I DO NOT COWER AWAY FROM MY CHOICES AND RESPONSIBILITIES. 

His inability to do so and the horrible pain that I have felt all these years are in the process of building a very wounded, but rather strong and resilient character in me.  Of course, there will always be a part of me that wants to keep the unrealistic dream of him and me alive.

The hurt you have caused all whom you deny in this life will not, I believe, go unnoticed.

As a Christian and a preacher, Mr E Hildebrand...you will only have to answer to God.

I called Kuthumi and Jesus last night. If I don't get to see or meet him it would make me feel that my life here was in vain (not true)...

It is just the immediate feeling and thought that comes to mind.

I want to say how much I feel this woman is such a brave and courageous soul.  Those attributes are those of not only survivors, but of victors.  Lee is an astonishingly beautiful woman and soul.  Her life circumstances do not define who she is, she does.

I hope you will join me in offering your thoughts of healing and encouragement for her and others going through these kinds of difficult struggles.

May we all be thankful for the blessings in our lives.  Some blessings even come in the form of NOT having toxic people in our lives.