Man in the Mirror PROJECT - Conditioning and Suffering

"It is only in the ash of suffering that the phoenix can be born."

- Thic Nhat Hanh

It has not been a secret that Michael Jackson had many issues that he had to deal with from his childhood. All of us are products from our childhoods.  Inside still lives the child we once were.  We may look older, but inside we still feel the same at times and look at the world in some of the same ways.

This part of our lives is what Michael used to refer to as conditioning.  In yesterday's post we reprinted an interview from Ebony magazine that mentioned that conditioning again.  It is the process of being "conditioned" as a child by your family, society and even the world.  A process we would like to dismantle with Man in the Mirror PROJECT.

We all are a products of our childhoods.  Sometimes we take away good things from our family and society, but sometimes there is much hurt and much pain.  If we do not heal that pain and hurt, our thoughts and beliefs about it will reflect and be put upon our children and our future children.  This is why it is so important to start with ourselves.  The most beautiful part of this is that as you heal yourself, you will also be planting seeds in other peoples lives you touch and now we can begin to truly transform and heal our world.  The more people that do this, the greater impact we have on the world we live in.  Nelson Mandela would often show a fist.  It symbolized that alone we are not so powerful, but together we can make profound change.

Another individual with the same philosophy is a man named Thich Nhat Hanh.  Thich is a monk and was once nominated by Martin Luther King Jr for the Nobel Peace Prize.  Much of this post is a reflection from not only Thich, but Michael Jackson, Nelson Mandela, Saint Germain and many others.  All of these great enlightened beings believed in something called "reconciliation".

If we believe that we are part of the universal song, the fabric of existence, we must also recognize that we touch each other.  We are all one.  Yet in our everyday lives the music is sometimes interrupted.  We may get angry, we may not have the same views, and we lash out with our words and actions based on what our thoughts are about who we are and who "they" are.  We separate ourselves into us and them.  Separation, however, always leads to our suffering.  For now we have caused static in the music and the harmony has been pierced.

Reconciliation allows us to begin to heal the piercing of the fabric that connects us.  Whether it be in your personal life, or conflict between countries, there is always a way to come to an understanding if the two parties involved really want peace.  If peace is the goal of both parties, the minds of the two should be on the goal.

We have the ability to touch each other in uplifting ways or condemning ways.  You have the choice to make someone feel good or someone feel bad.  Even the mere giggling of a child can bring joy to those who hear or watch that child.  Destruction, on the other hand, and the turmoil in the world can change our energy in other ways.  Choosing to direct your energy, your thoughts consciously can change the way you feel about your life.  When conflict arises it operates the same way.  Anger is often caused out of fear.  Even war is caused by wrong perceptions about who we are and who "they" are.  Where are our thoughts?  Here they are strongly embedded in the ego.  In the idea of what it is that is right, and what it is that the other is wrong in.  How do we begin to heal if we continually strengthen the ego mind?  We must learn to look deeper and focus only on what we truly want - peace.

We can only do this by acting compassionately with one another,  Do you recognize your foe as one that is also a part of you?  Can you recognize that the actions, words and beliefs they have are also a product of their own experiences and their own childhood?

If you can do that, we can begin to move to compassionate listening.  We all have our ego issues to contend with.  We too have wrong thoughts about who we are.  It is this moment when we need to step back.  To accept that we are flawed in our thinking as well sometimes and now we can compassionately listen to the other side of the story.  The one that our foe has told him or herself that brought both sides to this moment.

Thich Nhat Hanh has a process he calls "deep listening".  It is when you listen only with one purpose - to help the other person empty his or her heart.  It is in just this one act of compassion that the healing can begin.  When you sit with them you acknowledge their suffering and ask them to help you understand it.  Words can be very powerful in healing.  Your words might go something like this:

"I know you are angry with me.  I must have hurt you.  I don't understand how I have hurt you and my intent was not to have you suffer.  Please tell me about what you are feeling and help me understand."

Should your foe be honest enough, they will empty their heart to you.  You must listen intently.  Don't make faces, no judgments, and no interjections.  You must just "be" there to listen.  If you feel there is wrong thinking with the individual, you must wait until another time to begin to plant the seeds of "right" thinking. For now, the listening, the being there and being present is what is needed to start the healing.

Like a child laughing, our mere presence can have a profound effect on the life of another being.  For how can you claim to love someone when you are not there?  Saying the words "I am here for you", "I know you are there" validates the one you love and it means you recognize their light and existence.  That individual will now feel loved and when someone feels love they can go spread more love into the world around us.

Now we have set into motion a new pattern of conditioning.  One that has conditioned the mind to be compassionate and loving.  We must recognize ourselves, our own suffering and the suffering of others. When we suffer and dare to look at it honestly, we can then transform our suffering into something beautiful. For even the lotus flower of the enlightened needs the mud to cultivate its seed to grow into the enlightened flower it is.  So look deeply, look honestly and begin to transform your life in ways you may have never thought of before.  Your heart and mind will be the seeds for your future and our childrens future of tomorrow and for all future generations.  Make it count.