Man in the Mirror PROJECT - Shedding the Ego

"In order to be who you are, you must be willing to let go of who you think you are."

- Michael Singer

We all have preconceived ideas about who we "think" we are.  If I asked you who you were I might get the response that you are a salesperson, an accountant or in another part of the world, maybe a student studying medicine, a graduate of Walsh college, or a pre-med student.  Rarely do we dig deeper.  We most often have preconceived ideas about not only ourselves, but how we "fit in" with society as well.  Where do we belong?  What group do we belong in?  Am I a "rich" person, "wealthy", "poor", or "average"?

All of the above examples are boxes.  Unknowingly we put ourselves there, only with the intent to make sure the world knows we are "somebody".  Yet when we label ourselves we restrict the very essence of who we are as well.  When I reinforce the label that I am a poor, lonely white woman, with three kids and a dog, I can feel myself slouch in my chair and I'm not even a poor, lonely white woman with three kids and a dog!  Imagine if you thought this about yourself.  Imagine the effects the feeling it gives you could have on the rest of your life.  Michael said something many years ago to me that still sticks with me until this day.  He said "whatever enters the mind, the mind enters".  In other words, the thoughts you choose to believe your mind enters into, and hence becomes your reality.

In the movie, "What Dreams May Come", one of the main characters references that "they say we live in our minds anyway".  (You can view the clip on the "What is a twin soul" page).  This truly is a reality.  For every thought we think, we are perceiving our world.  The outside world - people, things, events and our inside world - how we feel, how we perceive ourselves and how we experience this earth life now.

When we identify with the thoughts about who we are, place ourselves in a box, we are continually creating something called the ego.  The ego is the part of us that makes us feel important, makes us feel small, makes us believe we are something most often because . . wait for it . . .wait for it . . . because we were fed it by society; e.g. rich, poor, middle class, single woman, black man, racist, church goer, etc. Fed it by your family; e.g. "She's the smart one.", "He's the *@ up one.", "He'll never get his act together", and/or believed by ourselves.  We have taken the outside stimulus and have interpreted it internally.  Our thoughts then are not necessarily true.  They are only thoughts about who we "think" we are based on our own perceptions, our own thoughts.

How then can we get this out of the way so our real selves, the bright, shiny part of us can emerge?  In essence the simplest way would be to stop thinking those thoughts.  Every time you find yourself identifying with a "label" internally or externally, stop yourself and be in the moment.  Open yourself up to experiencing the feeling of who you are or who you see as if it were the first time you happened upon you or happened upon another as a child.

There is a pen story they teach in yoga.  That when you look at a pen and the teacher asks what it is, you say "why it's a pen".  However, when you suppose you are dog and the dog looks at the pen it then becomes a chew toy.  For a monkey it might be a tool.  We are the ones who attach the labels and meaning to both objects, people and ourselves.  Listening and paying attention to what those thoughts are, where they came from, and how we feel about them, helps us break down the patterns of thoughts that limit our lives.  Meditation, a quieting of the mind, and presence of being are major components of listening inward.  The shedding of the ego can slip away like quick sand if you let your mind be and stop trying to label the outside forces that you "think" control your reality.  Our real reality lies within.  It's what we believe, what we think, and what our minds enter into.